Still trying to find my way

[Abbey]

Catching up again.

Mystik... walk away from this SOB. Sigh... his letter to you was a self indulgent rewriting of history with absolutely NO admission, let alone realization that it was HE who is responsible for this crap.

Do NOT let him appease his own guilt on your back. Friends? Tell him to screw off.

Seriously I say this again... the relationship with the husband stealing whore is doomed. That's a given. NOW though, what you are doing is giving him opportunity to find reasons to put the blame on you. He's seeing a side of you that makes it easy to toss all his crap on your shoulders.

Note what I'm not saying... I'm not saying this is justified... and that you deserve his stupidity. Only that in his demented screwed up in the head mentality... the justification looks for cracks to poke at. You've got those cracks right now. Time to start filling them in.

Time for you to pick yourself up and become the person that only a total moron would not want to be with. Right now, that's not the focus you've got going on. I know how hard this is for you. I KNOW. It's a daunting task, but you have to do it. Not for anyone else... but for you.

Time for the shake up sweetie... I know that the depression is ripping you to shreds. You need to get angry at him... at this... and not internalize... let it out. BE Proactive. Stop crying for a man who needs a kick in the balls... repeatedly.

As for you... Lose weight or gain it, gain muscle, change your hair ... just do what every you need to start to do to move to the next stage. You don't have to make it easy for stupid H... you need to start to learn to make it easier for you. GET MAD sweetie... this is HIS fault. He's not going to acknowledge what you need him to right now. Your focus should be... what do I have to do for me to make me magnetic, irresistible. Those are the kinds of things that should the stars align... he'll WANT to acknowledge all the crappy things he's done to you and your child and family.

Pick yourself up. *hugs hugs hugs* Each day one minute more, one minute at a time and get yourself back. He'll be sniffing around again at some point, just not right now. Neither of you are ready. YOU are not ready.

If the 2 of you never get on the same track again (and I'm still not convinced he won't be sniffing around in the future)... the only person you need to concern yourself with is YOU. Screw him, screw the husband stealing whore and screw his wish that you two can be friends. He wants friendship in order to not have to answer for his past deeds. Screw him, screw that. *smile*

If something isn't working... CHANGE IT ... remember? The pleading, unhappy Mystik isn't drawing the boy back. So now it's time to change the channel. You CAN do this.

Hugs
Abbey