After Exposure - Keep It Going

[Quicksilver264]

OK I am just going to VENT here:

I just want to tell her to put the damn house up for sale.

As much as I want this to work between us, it is just too painful to deal with this day in and day out.

She will be gone for a week, and then the last 3 weeks of Aug. So it's not like the house can be sold in that time anyway. And I will have her away from me so I can start to heal.

I want to tell her "I just want you out of my life and for you to stop hurting me".

I HAVE to let her go. She has been long gone for a while, and here I am clinging on to table scraps of hope.

I prayed to God, I looked inward, I gave everything I had. Some days I barely could get out of bed, yet I still did to fight for my marriage.

I deserve better than this. I want her, but the pain is just too much. I love her, but she doesn't love me.

I am NOT focusing on the negatives. I am finally seeing and living the Stockdale Paradox.

Only God himself could save this marriage now. Just like MWD says, some spouses are just too far gone that only a Miracle could bring them back.

Only God can give me the strength I need to go on. I can't do this without Him. I need to let Him worry about my marriage, because He is the only one who could ever fix it at this point.

My time with my wife started with her dog greeting me so happily at her apartment door. My time with my wife dies with the dog on Friday.

This is the saddest day of my life. And I know there will be sadder ones yet to come.

But some small part of me still has Hope. I hope for a miracle...