Well, Hope. All I can tell you from my perspective is until you know where you stand in the terms of the D (i.e Sep Agreement) it will be hard for you to get comfortable and really GAL.
I had emotional issues bubble up and get all bent out of shape. Not in from of her but, since she knows me better than most, she could tell that I wasn't "happy". Not angry but just sort of neutral (see 'unattractive'-more of the same)
In order to really GAL, I now see that you pretty much NEED to be away from them. You both need the space to "breathe" and figure out 'who you are now'. Plus, rather than imagining that you'll be fine without them, you'll actually notice the earth hasn't come off it's axis. And THAT will show you AND HER that you can and have let go. Since you were doing most of the pursuing, you'll notice the change and so will she- because it's NOT there.
It's imprtant to note that deep down neither of you reallt enjoyed the marriage the way it should be. All of them are a little dysfunctional so the break from her can help you see what YOU weren't getting from it. And that's going to be important going into the next R- whether with her or not.
It's not riveting, sinus clearing stuff like Allen, or Gucci, or Rob, Sandi or my friend Puppy would give. But it's feet on the street; in the same bunker stuff.
