How To Tell The Kids

[DanF]

went to a local bar that serves excellent food to get a sandwich and a beer. There was this hot little blondie (yes, I’m partial to blonde’s) tending bar and waitressing ... We hit it off pretty god.

In case you are confused it can be called "tips through temptation." You are probably not the only guy leaving her a twenty under your pint glass and who has found his latest hangout.

I appreciate the advice here Steve, but I don't think I am confused in this situation. I'm not expecting anything, but I just thought it would be good to get out, see what else is out there and talk to some new people. And it doesn't hurt that I thought she was cute too! I'll try to keep my wits about me.

puppy gave some great advice on this thread :

I always try to encourage betrayed spouses to take a good, hard, honest look at THEMSELVES, and also their spouse's pre-affair marital complaints, and use this time for some serious introspection about what GENUINELY needs to be improved in their relationship style, communication, habits, etc.

I don't think you have done this yet. This remark along with many others,

I felt kind of good about making her mad!

tells me you still allow your wife and tempting woman to hold power over you. Know Yourself.

I think I have done this. I did everything she asked of me from January 3rd on. I read 4 relationship books, suggested working some communication, goal setting, needs expression and other exercises from the books and also suggested counseling. All of my efforts were met with, this just annoys me, maybe if you had done these things 5 years ago we wouldn't be here, that doesn't apply to me, it won't matter, I only agreed to go to counseling, etc. etc. Nothing mattered. After busting her on her EA and then her filing for D anyway, I finally realized that it doesn't matter what I do anymore. It is up to her to decide what she wants. I continue to do my 180's and have built much stronger relationships with my kids. It took me a long time to get to this place and I am not turning back now. Don't beautiful women hold some power over all men? Unless you are ultra-confident and have an ego that refuses to be bruised, you can't resist a beautiful woman. Especially when yours has shown you no love in 6 months. I thought I did pretty well for my first time out of the chute!

Thanks for the advice. I do appreciate all opinions and try to learn from what others see in me.