I searched FB for divorce busting, but I don't see how to join a group. I'm a little new at facebook too....but it is where I figured out that W was going to D me. I hacked her account and found a message referencing her D-ing me.
went to a local bar that serves excellent food to get a sandwich and a beer. There was this hot little blondie (yes, I’m partial to blonde’s) tending bar and waitressing ... We hit it off pretty god.
In case you are confused it can be called "tips through temptation." You are probably not the only guy leaving her a twenty under your pint glass and who has found his latest hangout.
puppy gave some great advice on this thread :
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
I always try to encourage betrayed spouses to take a good, hard, honest look at THEMSELVES, and also their spouse's pre-affair marital complaints, and use this time for some serious introspection about what GENUINELY needs to be improved in their relationship style, communication, habits, etc.
I don't think you have done this yet. This remark along with many others,
Quote:
I felt kind of good about making her mad!
tells me you still allow your wife and tempting woman to hold power over you. Know Yourself.
went to a local bar that serves excellent food to get a sandwich and a beer. There was this hot little blondie (yes, I’m partial to blonde’s) tending bar and waitressing ... We hit it off pretty god.
In case you are confused it can be called "tips through temptation." You are probably not the only guy leaving her a twenty under your pint glass and who has found his latest hangout.
I appreciate the advice here Steve, but I don't think I am confused in this situation. I'm not expecting anything, but I just thought it would be good to get out, see what else is out there and talk to some new people. And it doesn't hurt that I thought she was cute too! I'll try to keep my wits about me.
Originally Posted By: Steve McQueen
puppy gave some great advice on this thread :
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
I always try to encourage betrayed spouses to take a good, hard, honest look at THEMSELVES, and also their spouse's pre-affair marital complaints, and use this time for some serious introspection about what GENUINELY needs to be improved in their relationship style, communication, habits, etc.
I don't think you have done this yet. This remark along with many others,
Quote:
I felt kind of good about making her mad!
tells me you still allow your wife and tempting woman to hold power over you. Know Yourself.
I think I have done this. I did everything she asked of me from January 3rd on. I read 4 relationship books, suggested working some communication, goal setting, needs expression and other exercises from the books and also suggested counseling. All of my efforts were met with, this just annoys me, maybe if you had done these things 5 years ago we wouldn't be here, that doesn't apply to me, it won't matter, I only agreed to go to counseling, etc. etc. Nothing mattered. After busting her on her EA and then her filing for D anyway, I finally realized that it doesn't matter what I do anymore. It is up to her to decide what she wants. I continue to do my 180's and have built much stronger relationships with my kids. It took me a long time to get to this place and I am not turning back now. Don't beautiful women hold some power over all men? Unless you are ultra-confident and have an ego that refuses to be bruised, you can't resist a beautiful woman. Especially when yours has shown you no love in 6 months. I thought I did pretty well for my first time out of the chute!
Thanks for the advice. I do appreciate all opinions and try to learn from what others see in me.
Ok, but do I go in expecting to tell her to stay home?
Here I go taking my harder approach in consiquence for decisions of the wayward... "umm, this vacation is a FAMILY occassion, you have decided you no longer want this family, so the rest of it shall go without you, just like, graduations, holidays and the like".
Originally Posted By: DanF
What could she say that should make me consider taking her along?
"Dan, I'm sorry, I was wrong and need to work on myself, and have withdrawn the petition for divorce and end of our family"
EDIT - Point being, time to give her what she "wants". Class is in session at the school of hard knocks.
Last edited by dday101798; 07/20/1012:51 PM.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
I asked W this morning if she told D to ask me if she was going on vacation with us. She told me she didn't say that, but when D asked her if she was going, she said she didn't know. D asked her when or how she would know if she was coming along. W told her that it would be up to Dad and D ran with it from there on her own.
W said this morning that she "thought it would be easier on the kids if she went along, but that she understood if I didn't want her to go and didn't think it would be much fun anyway."
She said one of the kids told her that if only one of us was going on the trip, they would rather it be me because I do all of the fun stuff like fishing, golfing and campfires. She understood that and said that this is my kind of vacation. Hers is the beach in Florida or somewhere exotic.
She said maybe she could come for just a couple of days.
She said, "Let's decide later."
I said, "When?"
She said, "Well you're going, right?"
I said, "I'm planning on it."
She said, "Well then we don't need to decide right now."
I told her I'd think about it. I guess I am going to tell her that I don't want her to come along at all.
She seems completely fine with not going. Last week and over the week-end, I thought maybe she was starting to crack a bit, but today she is back to her old stoic self.
You guys are all right about this. I'll tell her no trip and get some of my family to come along instead.
"umm, this vacation is a FAMILY occassion, you have decided you no longer want this family, so the rest of it shall go without you, just like, graduations, holidays and the like".