QS, didnt you say your wife was keeping some things of hers in the freezer?
She can't force YOU to pay for all the utilities and continue to use the equipment dude...
Toss her crap out if she isnt' going to ante up...
I know she's angry, but if you stand up for yourself she will have more respect for you...
You COULD make the argument, and tell her you COULD and thoguht about it, but decided you will be gracious enough to allow her things to stay... your call... but assert yourself one way or the other...
The utilities are in her name and she can cancel them at any time.
Then I have to pay to restart them.
I think I am pretty much done. The things she said tonight just have done it for me.
She IS putting the dog down on Friday. I simply CANNOT forgive that.
I am hanging by a thread with all this.
You guys always say you only get 25-30% of what really goes on. Well the other 60-75% is absolutely horrible.
I WANT to keep going, but after tonight it's REALLY hard.
Even the FC thought I was taking too "hard a line" with all this. She said I wasn't looking at my wife's point of view at all, and "what decision could you make to show love".
My wife also said that I was a "monster" and was vindictive, and that she was "afraid" of the divorce process with me because of how I would react.
I think it's time for me to write the Dobson letter. I mean my wife said to the FC she was taking that job to get away from me.
I kind of think it's time to talk a a realtor and then agree to put the house up for sale. That way it looks like I made an INFORMED decision about the process. It will take months to sell the house anyway, and by that time I might have another job and can just buy her out and kick her arse OUT.
And yes she is still living here. But she is going back to her friends tomorrow.
But you guys have to know I toed the line HAAAARD. I was unwavering, and unyielding. Even the FC said so. And it just made my wife madder.
Oh also Allen read where I said she was talking about me having to have the upper hand. That infuriated her!!!
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 07/20/1002:17 AM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
My W said that I am doing what I am doing "out of spite." It sounds about the same as your W. I guess it is just script to them. I do not accept blame for what my W has done and don't you either.
Be the person you know you can be!
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
She is LIVID at me exposing the Facebook guy. "It's NONE of your business what I do now that we're separated".
Separated or not, since you're still married and living in the same house it IS your business. If the tables were turned and you were slumming it online instead of her, would she just "take it on the chin" as she watched her marriage disintegrate before her eyes? Not bloody likely!
Originally Posted By: Quicksilver264
And she is calling tomorrow about canceling all the utilities. She said I am doing this "out of revenge".
She kept coming back to "what kind of person I am" and how spiteful and revengeful I can be.
And turning off the utilities ISN'T spiteful or revengeful? She needs to grow up and leave temper tantrums to toddlers.
I just want to tell her to put the damn house up for sale.
As much as I want this to work between us, it is just too painful to deal with this day in and day out.
She will be gone for a week, and then the last 3 weeks of Aug. So it's not like the house can be sold in that time anyway. And I will have her away from me so I can start to heal.
I want to tell her "I just want you out of my life and for you to stop hurting me".
I HAVE to let her go. She has been long gone for a while, and here I am clinging on to table scraps of hope.
I prayed to God, I looked inward, I gave everything I had. Some days I barely could get out of bed, yet I still did to fight for my marriage.
I deserve better than this. I want her, but the pain is just too much. I love her, but she doesn't love me.
I am NOT focusing on the negatives. I am finally seeing and living the Stockdale Paradox.
Only God himself could save this marriage now. Just like MWD says, some spouses are just too far gone that only a Miracle could bring them back.
Only God can give me the strength I need to go on. I can't do this without Him. I need to let Him worry about my marriage, because He is the only one who could ever fix it at this point.
My time with my wife started with her dog greeting me so happily at her apartment door. My time with my wife dies with the dog on Friday.
This is the saddest day of my life. And I know there will be sadder ones yet to come.
But some small part of me still has Hope. I hope for a miracle...
Last edited by Quicksilver264; 07/20/1011:39 AM.
Me - 32 Her -30 Married - 7 Years Together - 9 Years No Kids 05/21 - Bomb 6/8 - Exposed 7/9 - Re-Exposed 06/11 - She Filed
And can't you just TAKE the DOG so she CAN'T put it down?
WHy on earth do you just have to stand and watch her do that? I think THAT is a lot mroe spiteful and vengeful than not selling a house.
Anyhow, a different spin on this I think is to say I am disgusted with this Family Therapist for making you sit through an hour of her attacking you... what kind of therapist allows that and even JOINS her in mid session?
I would talk to that FT privately and tell her you aren't impressed.
