Does WAS feel any of this pain? I have always wondered. Yes, she cries when she see me and sometimes when she calls. But I am not taking any calls from her again. She has someone new. I just wonder if she will wake up and feel bad for the damage that she caused me or if it really doesn't matter to her. She says she is happy one day and says she feels alone the next. I can not talk to her-weither it is good or bad talk it always turns out bad for me. My dang brain keeps thoughts of her cycling through hour on the hour. And these are good thoughts-not the bad ones when she was screwing up. It just doesn't make any sense that I would want to feel pain but I think I do. I think I really want to feel this way. I don't know why. I can't understand it. I am ruining my life and I can see it going up right in smoke. I am doing poorly in school(way behind) and I am an A student. This little rat didn't care about me one bit. She actted like it and used me to a tee. Just like her mother told me. When I thought about it I could see the facts. I just never had before. I really thought that she was the one. The one made for me as I am sure most of you did too. I just want to know if they feel this kind of pain sometime or is it lessened by the fact that they know that we wanted them back and they we felt such great pain? I don't know it just doesn't seem to fair. That one would hurt for the R so badly and the other just continues on as if nothing happened. Like it was no big deal. Let me tell you again-I did nothing wrong here in this R. I was always there for her, sent her money that I didn't really have. Treated like a queen. I couldn't have done anything different or better to improve this. We broke up before and I made the changes. She never did. She told me she was stopping drugs and that she wanted us but she really didn't she wanted to be taken care of. Sad story. But true. I really didn't do anything wrong to cause this.
