Warrior..you sound so good. I can tell that you want it to work out, just by the way you write.
There are so many marriages that just fall by the wayside these days. My H and I were talking about that the other day. Women used to be "stuck" with her H years ago. There was no birth control, women didn't work and were dependent on their H, no rights really. All that has changed now and women are coming into their own..sometimes that's good..sometimes not. Probably depends on the woman. I do know that divorce is so commonplace anymore that no one thinks anything of it. It's just so easy to throw away your spouse and get a new one. The grass really isn't greener. People have to find that out the hard way, I guess.
I wish your wife knew or at least could listen to someone when they show her about this OM you speak of and what he's done before. Probably not gonna happen tho, huh, since she is in MLC and not listening to a word anyone tells her. My H is such an intelligent, analytical, caring man..I just can't understand why that person can't see what the MLC person is doing.
Anyway, like you say, it is up to us to get our life together and do things that we have always wanted. It's hard, isn't it?
I saw this quote and thought I'd share it with you:
"Life is a journey. Sometimes the scenery is lovely, and at other times, the sky is dark and gloomy, the road full of potholes. But, along the way, there are lessons to learn. And those lessons come in the strangest ways."
Leave the door to your mind open, for if you do this, the lessons will come and you will grow wiser and stronger each and every day.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I saw this quote and thought I'd share it with you:
"Life is a journey. Sometimes the scenery is lovely, and at other times, the sky is dark and gloomy, the road full of potholes. But, along the way, there are lessons to learn. And those lessons come in the strangest ways."
Leave the door to your mind open, for if you do this, the lessons will come and you will grow wiser and stronger each and every day.
I love this!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I wish your wife knew or at least could listen to someone when they show her about this OM you speak of and what he's done before.
The reason I know that he has done this before is because she has told me. When in MLC, you deny you are in MLC. So that can't possibly be happening to her.
Don't worry about the DR book. If you find it, snag it. If you don't, I would not worry about it. They forget everything. I can't believe they can even function sometimes. In fact, they can't function sometimes.
The journey won't get shortened by anyone. The time it takes is completely dependent on the MLC'r. I did the book thing too. She scanned the book I had for less than 5 minutes. It was not DR or DB but it was on MLC. If anything it was an awakening for me to realize that she is so way, way out there. I think most of us try the book thing because this whole MLC does not make sense to us. We try to be logical in an illogical world of MLC. They deny, deny and deny. The world has to crumble around them.
Warrior..does it make you want to give up sometimes?
Today I had a bit of a panic attack. My H has been acting really wierd lately (wierder than normal) and it made me think he is playing some kind of cruel game with me. Sneaking around, hiding things, secretive, overly nice sometimes, and cold and distant others. He trys to be my friend but it feels like he just wants to bolt. I haven't worked for 5 years at my Hs suggestion..he said why don't you just retire and do some stuff you like. You don't need to work now, I make enough and it makes me feel good to take care of you. So, like a idiot, I did. I had a great career, but gave it up to move with my H as he climbed the ladder. We talked about it and decided that his job was the one that would make the most money, so I agreed to give it up as we moved around. I have enjoyed being home and doing my hobbies and taking care of my grandson..but i lost myself in the process too. So, now i'm trying to find the lost me and to figure out how I'm going to get back into the job market after so long,, stay married to the most wonderful man in the world, be a good mom and grandma and all the other stuff that goes into living a life. I am afraid, more than anything. Afraid of what is going to happen to me. Especially if he files for D and leaves me here alone to deal with the house, bills, no job, all that depressing stuff.
Anyway, it's hard for me to be able to write about it w/o sounding like a whiney little baby. i would be so much more attractive if I were more confident, more independent, just more.. I know it's a long process but it feels overwhelming sometimes. I'm better than i was since I have been taking panic attack meds at the suggestion of my C. I only take 1/2 the dose and they keep my emotions under check most of the time, but when I start thinking about what could happen, I can't control the fear sometimes. I'm trying to work thru this to the best of my ability..most of the time it seems either futile or non-productive.
My H does forget alot..and he has had 2 car accidents since all this started..he's usually so cautious. I'm probably repeating myself like an MCLer tonight. Just worn out. Another reason to try to keep the stress away.
Somtimes I wonder if he really is in MCL or just wants out of the marriage..wants someone else. That happens too. i don't want to believe that but i think about it once in a while.
You're right..just like trying to understand people I care about who are alcoholics, none of this MCL makes sense to me. I can't even put myself in their shoes which has been my way of dealing with everyone for as long as i can remember. And i'm so paranoid that he is reading my stuff here..or the OW is. What if they were pretending to be one of you guys? That's just silly, isn't it? Wow. I need to get me under control.
