THanks everyone for the reality check! YEs, I"m still in IC and see her tomorrow. Will go over these feelings with her.
I must say what is hard is that when we were together, he was "nice" like this often = in between the snaps, criticisms. So it is even more confusing because back in the day, this was "characteristic". It feels "normal" like before but certainly since we've broken up I"ve gotten less - well actually very little - of this "normal". I still need the reminders that it's not "normal" if I'm still shaking inside. I need to remember it's the uncertainty and the fear that is real inside me and I need to continue to protect myself. Thank you, friends.
I start excusing his behavior in my mind, thinking, "many on these boards consider this just 'spew' and I'm taking it too far to consider it abusive".
Must struggle there too. Trying to validate my own feelings "if it feels abusive, it probably is."
Although I still love my husband and would want to work on the relationship, "work" is the operative word. Unless he admits his part, his anger problem, then I must stay strong and continue to plan on the D.
-Waiting, watching, not expecting anything, focusing on making me happy and serene.
