So you screwed up and acted outragiously. They put us on the brink, hardly allowing us to recognize or know who we are anymore, but then when we "screw-up" we beat ourselves up over it. As my lawyer once said (oh and by the way, my Illinois lawyer), "why do you care what he thinks? He has proven to be a liar and a cheat, and you have to stop worrying about what HE thinks". Best advice I ever got. Actually, it changed everything.
I did get my sanity back, but it wasn't until I drew my line in the sand and did what was best for me. That meant backing away and giving myself the space I needed to get stronger. The day I told him that if he was going to go then it might as well be sooner rather than later. Not knowing what they are doing, and feeling the pain of the rejection that they inflict on us, put me on the road to taking my power back. If you think that moving out is what's best for you, then do it. Right now your ex doesn't really care what's best for you, but rather how it will affect her. Those tears were most likely selfish tears. If she cared, she wouldn't sit there texting another man.
Personally, I think staying together while their "finding themselves" is much harder. I know that some will say just the opposite, but I know the pain of hoping and trying to DB under the same roof. By the time I had the strength to ask my ex to leave, I was almost as unstable as him. Besides, if she is ever going to have to sh@t of get off the pot it will be when she feel what life will be like without you there to pick up the pieces.
