I hate it when they act out of character- it makes what was seeming like a straightforward decision harder. I would just point out that this is VERY uncharacteristic of him and unlikely that it's a real, lasting, change after all the years of acting the opposite. I would watch and wait. Do not project, do not change what you're doing, and just wait. I think you need time to heal from his abuse no matter what happens in the future. The feelings and reactions you describe in yourself when you do totally human things (like lose your phone, break something, etc.) are what I think of as classic abusee symptoms. They are not normal or healthy- I think you already know that. No one should be afraid of a loved one's reaction to doing things everyone does. And mothers should be allowed to explain and talk to their kids without fear of being called stupid or getting it wrong, etc. This is not loving behavior. I would not trust anything he does right now - just watch and wait and take care of yourself. Are you still going to IC?
-A
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
