See you are thinking about the fair at the end of the month, good start. I know its hard to think about "i dont know where to start" well as pinhead said it will come naturally once you start feeling yourself again. Hell I am 38 years old and in the best shape I have ever been in, started listening to Hair Nation and its bringing some of my youth back trust me I dont keep the windows down listening to old hair bands and I dont rock out with long hair, shave it anyway. Stay strong, fight the fight.