Taylor, I was pulling your chain a little bit on that attention from other women thing. See my wife knows that I would never leave her for another woman. She knows that precisely because I don't oogle other women. I have been baited in the past from her before all of this started with her by her asking me things like, "Look at her, why can't I look as good as she does?" Then I am forced to look at the woman in question and I always have said to her "Honey, she is pretty but man I would never trade you. You are not only as pretty and beautiful as her, but I know how intelligent you are too. I have no idea how intelligent that woman is." This resulted in a kind of a (you are just saying that look) because my wife never really could take a compliment no matter how true it really was. Not from me, not from anybody. That was the low self esteem; not worthy stuff she had going on in the background since I met her. Little did I know that the underlying reason for this is buried in the childhood issues side of her. So that is a feather in her cap through this. She has our sacred history knowing that I would never leave her because I have told her over and over and over through the years. It helps fuel her desire to go through this and see if the grass is greener on the other side. That deep down part of her gives her that insurance policy that "I know he will always take me back no matter what"
But in the MLC life they push that down, they push down what anybody else thinks, they push down the being a responsible mother, start affairs, file for divorce, treat the spouse horribly because it must be their fault that they are unhappy.
If she is still involved with the OM (and I know she is), then she will go through with it and not delay. If she delays, I figure she has reached a point where she still is not sure and is confused. She is a very smart, very beautiful woman. Just not very smart right now. The rock bottom of this will then have to occur. The damage will be great and then her pride will get in the way. Who gets to help clean up this mess? You guessed it. The LBS that has been showing the light from the beginning. That is another reason why you have to work on yourself. They can't come back to a spouse that is curled up in a ball in pain and they won't. If they don't come back because of pride or never come out, the working on YOU will get you to the life you deserve. So you and I have no choice. We have to do things and read things to get our head right and body right.
About the fb and thread thing. I guess I will eventually do that. Again I am paranoid about all of that because the OM has done this to another MLC woman in the past. She woke up and went back to her husband. Took a couple years. I think he knows my wife is in MLC and is taking advantage of her for himself. That might bring him here or fb. When he gets what he wants, he can dump her and move on. Wonderful people we have in this world HUH?
See, I believe that most wake up like the books say, they just have to hit bottom first. Everyone is different, the trauma they went through is different. Too many variables for consistent and precise time frames. Again, Is this fair to the LBS? Wrong question. The question still is, what can YOU do to make the best YOU. To feel good about YOU. Because YOU are in control of YOU. Life is too short to sit in this for the rest of our lives. If your husband is in MLC, then you have to decide what the dealbreakers are and be able to walk with your head high after that. You would not want it any other way. If he comes back halfway, without fully resolving this journey, it will come back again. I see this with my wife now. Maybe I am wrong, maybe I am nuts, but I see this for what it is.
