it's unfortunate that my h/first love said some pretty hurtful things to me as well.
Yes, you got hurt by his words. Now dispute the rest of your feelings by thinking thru it.
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people always remember their first love but i hope this doesn't stick with me for the rest of my life.
Where's Seligman when you need him?
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when i panic like that, it's because my intel tells me something is up and i go on high alert. it's not mind reading or snakes on a brain. i have reason to believe that there is another bomb coming.
Ok, if you can't predict then prepare.
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this will definitely trigger a huge emotional response from him
That's his problem.
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so i'm telling you now, the papers are coming.
What really scares you about that? Is it real?
FEAR - False Evidence Appearing Real
The legal process is part of the brutal reality. Doesn't mean it's the end, never lose faith that you will prevail.
What's your DB theme song?
Mine was Bring It On by Lenny Kravitz.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
more like fearing that the end is near. waiting for my last meal of steak and lobster before i choose death by firing squad or electric chair.
Didn't know that was part of getting D in NY?
You have a choice in how you view things.
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"before he cheats" carrie underwood.
bet that is a real pick me up kinda tune.
Let's compare shall we. This song rocks.
"Bring It On"
I'm gonna walk by faith Gonna raise my sword I'm gonna fight my battle I'm gonna praise my Lord
It's getting heavy But I'm ready To take on this world and rock steady So come on, bring it on
I'm gonna face my demons Gonna tear them down I'm gonna keep on moving Gonna make my sound
It's getting heavy But I'm ready To take on this world and rock steady So come on, bring it on
Bring it on Oh bring it on Bring it on Oh bring it on
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
y'know, i really did not know that death by firing squad was legal in the US until i read about the guy who recently went through it in utah.
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You have a choice in how you view things.
i did the hand over heart speech and i chuckled at the 'dumpling' name.
i think if i get served, i will be okay. i now know that it's being triggered by emotion. i understand the influence that well-meaning friends and family may have. he is hurting, his parents don't want to see him hurt. i completely understand. my family is the same way. i have to keep this in mind.
i am sad to see those around us hurt like this. there is no doubt his parents hurt. and i know what it has done to my family as well. to me, it's not worth it to lose the entire army fighting over a tiny piece of wasteland. for the sake of saying "i won"? if that's the case, take it. i'd rather save my troops for the bigger battles.
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bet that is a real pick me up kinda tune.
oh yeah.
lenny kravitz is good. and the lyrics are very inspiring. good choice.
the songs on my iphone keep my spirits up. there is hope that someone will want to love me for me. songs that make me smile. then i throw in the occasional justin bieber tune to keep myself up-to-date on the tween tunes.
i did the hand over heart speech and i chuckled at the 'dumpling' name.
Use your real name next time "Chuckles."
When I got served is when I really started to DB. Before that I still was doing things the way I used to. The D papers helped me drop the rope and really detach. It's scary but I handled it.
We are going on vacation for a week. So we will check in later. TCB.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
my favorite kravitz song has always been "are you going my way?"
journaling ..
this weekend, i went to the library and read DB again. i wanted to read the men are from mars book by john gray but i didn't get a chance to. the library was chilly and i didn't bring a sweater. i had to go outside to warm up. :P ooh .. i also made two individual blueberry crisps and a dozen blueberry muffins. both turned out really good.
i was asked by a guy at squash to go play on sunday AM but i opted to sleep in instead. i got my act together around noon and went to the mall. i haven't been to the mall in weeks. my mission was to hit bath&body works for something lavender. i've heard that it has sedative properties so it might help me sleep. i'm tired of not being able to fall asleep at a decent hour. wow. rude awakening #1. aromatherapy stuff is expensive! no, i didn't pick anything up. i hit the gym after my walk around the mall. i did a shoulder, back, and triceps workout. rude awakening #2. i'm still way too thin. so i went grocery shopping and picked up 1% milk instead of my usual skim milk. and 1% yogurt as opposed to non-fat yogurt. maybe i should be drinking whole milk but that's gross when you're so used to white water (skim)
i don't know what i need to do to pack on the weight. real suggestions please. none of this "go eat in-and-out burgers for a week" thing.
i'm trying to include avocados in my diet for a start.
I am taking a nutrition class right now and they suggest for weight gain that you snack on energy dense foods between meals. Try adding some nuts? or grapes? in between meals. Avacado is yummy too! I have been on an avacado kick for a while now!
Yuck whole milk! There's no way....lol. I LOVE skim--drink it like water.
Is scarfing down a few of your muffins out of the question??! They sound wonderful!!
yup. 1% milk is my max. i'm so used to skim milk now. i'll try snacking on nuts. i've been snacking on the muffins but i tend to favor salty snacks than sweets.
journaling .. today, i felt a bit overwhelmed. i had so much on my plate that i took a day off to take care of my own business. my back was extremely sore that i had to take an advil. i went to the family law centre today to inquire about filing for d. i found out that i cannot file for d until the 1 yr separation is over. i can't even file ahead of time and have it sit in the queue. this is why i haven't been served yet. i left with a package of forms for a simple divorce. if i choose to file, then i fill them out.
i came home, cancelled my h's costco card, straightened out my car insurance policy, and made an appointment to design the kitchen in my new home.
i also received a couple of calls for upcoming contracts and i had to complete a few job applications for these contracts.
i was so tired, i wasn't sure if i wanted to go to squash. i got myself dressed and forced myself to go. h didn't go but he came home straight from work.
i don't miss him at squash. but i was reminded that one of his reasons for d was that he felt he was dragging me through his life. ever since we split, it seems as if i've accomplished a lot more than he. i've gained new friends, love the club, i enjoy exploring my culinary skills, etc.
i've gotten myself in great shape. and he's let himself go. my intel says that he has no life. his life evolves around mom and dad.
can life with mom and dad really be that much better than it was with me? i couldn't help it .. i shed a few tears today.
No, of course life with mom and dad is not better--he thought this was the answer, so what happened? Well, as we know around here, he blamed the WRONG THING for his problems!
It must be human nature that people look everywhere else but at themselves to see what the real problems of their lives are.
I would feel superior, except..I did it too.lol. And so did you.lol.
So now you and I look inward and go through "the work" and you know what? We made mistakes. We have some issues. We could do better next time, sure. We forgive ourselves. We gain our confidence back much quicker.
And these guys that were SO SURE are SO STUCK!!! My H saw a L yesterday. He expected me to crack (he did! OMG he was a WRECK!) I was so calm, it must have freaked him out. I made sure he knew that if this was what he wanted, fine. My life would go on. I expect all the weirdness you went through to come my way soon.
And I have to remember that he is far, far behind me. I will have compassion, but I will stay very, very tough with him. (I have some different strategies than you because you are different than me in personality.)
Your H can see you are doing better than him. Mine can see it too. Both of them have lost confidence because they were SO SURE. And they are men--how easy was it for your H to admit he was wrong?
But you were friends first. And he needs a friend...
