What do you consider "contact"?

[EJohn]

It got pretty bad this afternoon when I again confronted her about the contact. She keeps insisting there's no contact. I think contact to her means doing things together and sex. She always fires back with "we haven't done that in 6+ months". Think I'll calmly wait to have a discussion about what contact is (tomorrow's my birthday, don't want to ruin it!). It is so maddening that I have to explain it.

It is my dealbreaker.