let God judge her in whatever way he deems fit, you worry about you, and I would relax today with a few drinks and some vitamin D (sun) because later on, you will be tested, let's hope you pass the test.
Regardless of what argument she starts, you don't argue with her, I've said it enough times already, you just stick to the script, you moving out of your home is her idea, not your idea, and lead your life no one else, just remember, you can handle it
I just got home from Church and it was a very interesting and fitting service. It had to do with reaping what you sow, which seems to have a lot of significance in regards to what a lot of us are going through. I did pray for God to give me the strength to handle today, I am going to mow the lawn get some sun and not be here when she gets back. I will go to my Brother's and hang out until she gets home and texts me asking where I am.
It was interesting that a neighbor of ours sat next to me at church and she said she noticed something was bothering me, I filled her in a bit, not too much and she said she knew when she first met me that I was a warrior. It felt good to hear that and the reassurance to be strong and fight for what I believe in and to be the warrior my children need me to be.
Mowed the lawn, going to head to my bro's. W sent me a pic of her Dad doing Karate from about 20 years ago, she is twisted. She basically hung up on me earlier, and I have been silent. She sends me the most random sh*t. I am not going to respond. Just waiting for as Robx puts it, The storm to come home, because it will be a doozy i am sure.
I stayed at my brothers until she contacted me that she is home. She texts me first, 2 minutes later a phone call, tell her I am heading home will be there in 20, she asks where have I been? told her hanging out with friends and stuff. She gets quiet and doesnt believe me, she says your hesitating, I said well that is what I did today. In any case I get home, go straight to the kids tickling hugging them they are laughing and just too happy to see their dad, felt so good.
So the W is going in and out of our room, and I noticed her moving stuff(her clothes) upstairs to the guest room. So basically I didnt have to deal with the Storm, she realized pretty much what the"talk" was about, and instead of throwing a fit, moving out she is relocating to the guest room. She was putting her lingerie in a plastic bag, I asked her why she was doing that, she said I do not use it anymore. I said" well you might use it some day" and walked out. She sat there and I could tell she started to tear up. She has not been this calm in a while, I am not giving her any ammo to fire at me, it feels really good.
I am not going to say anything about her going to the guest room, just letting her do it. I will enjoy our big CA king bed and our Mastiff Layla will take her place next to me. She has been a better cuddler lately anyway. So I feel my manhood is in high gear and my balls are back in tact. This is only the beginning need to stay strong and keep up the PMA big time, I can tell its killing her, as well as all the questions. I know she thinks I am out and is jealous. All the support in the last few days has been so important, thank you guys will keep you updated.
I am not being mean or rude, I am talkative when she starts the talks but other than that I am to myself or playing reading to the kids. She is not going to get me warming up to her.
Always be happy around her, do not gloat, if you do have the "talk" with her, just tell her that you realized that this was more about her than about you and you respect the fact that she doesn't want to be with you anymore and that she wants space and you tell her that you feel the same way and that if she feels she can't live in the same home, you would help her find a new place and help her move out, if she asks about you moving out, you tell her that you've decided to live at home with your kids, that's the best place for you.
And that's that, no gloating, no arguing, just be happy because you are home and you are with your kids and you aren't going anywhere.
I dont think she will initiate the talk. I wont either. I will be all of what you said at home, cheerful and focusing on me and the kids. I picked up my little girl this morning in front of the W, held her tight as she hugged my neck and played with the cross around my neck, I had my sunglasses on and could see my wife just staring at me and my little girl. I left something out yesterday, when I left church I stopped at CVS for a loaf of bread, a car pulled up next to me with a license plate that said "xander". that is my sons name and I believe it was a sign for me to focus on my kids and be the father they need me to be.
THis will be a long road, whether it ends up with us together or not. All I can do is stay strong and do things for me and the kids.
After the kids went to bed last night, the W stayed in the LR and watched Frasier, I worked on some emails for work, grabbed a book and went to bed. No conversation with W just off to bed to start a new day.
... a car pulled up next to me with a license plate that said "xander". that is my sons name and I believe it was a sign for me to focus on my kids and be the father they need me to be.
THis will be a long road, whether it ends up with us together or not. All I can do is stay strong and do things for me and the kids.
Be a great father to your kids, part of that is being a great person for yourself, first and foremost, lead by example, set a great example, life a great life, even if that means without your wife.
Let her stew in her own juices, let her be angry, let her do whatever she needs to do, you can't control her, you can't reason with her, you said she previously had an affair, if how she is acting now is similar to that period of time, she could be in the middle of one now as well and if that's the case let her go.
Some similarities to the last separation, yes but I dont think at least for now a PA, she has let her self go physically. Depression is the what I believe, she has not shaved her legs in a while so she can get them waxed, she is not getting all dressed up, no makeup and not really making herself presentable if their is a OM. Again, I am not totally ruling it out, just my own gut feeling. If she is taling to someone, then she can go with it. It hurts but I am at the point where she will do what she does, cant control it, so be it.
Not much new to report, took kids to gym after work, W came home about 20 minutes before I had to leave for an AA meeting. She texted me after the gym and said dont feed the kids, I want to fix a dinner when I get home. I think when she got home she was trying the get dinner done before I had to leave, but didnt happen, came home and ate leftovers outta the frig. We watched our favorite show "the closer" her in a chair, me on the couch. Made small talk during the show about the storyline. I just came upstairs and got in the pc. I am going to finish typing grab the book i am reading "Devotional Father" and go crawl into the bed. I will say goodnight and leave it at that. Other than another day we arent fighting and just living like roommates like a lot of others here. Keep up the PMA people!
Not much to report. I helped the W by leaving for work later so I could drop off the kids and she could get to a client who moved their appointment up an hour. She bought new sun shades for her car they are Ed Hardy and say "love, kills, slowly" she made a point to me last night that she bought some for her car, I am sure so I could read what it said and get a reaction, I read it, guess what no reaction, 180 for me. Her aunt told me she texted her the other night with the line, I am so confused. Which I dont know how to take that, last week she was dead set on a S maybe D, and now she is so confused. I am not going to pry or try and bring up anything need to stay to the path I am on and stay strong.
