To all, thank you so much for your kind words, encouragement, and for being there!
I was me yesterday, my best me. The me that attracted H in the first place. It wasn't fake or put on. I have realized that I had lost that me along the way a lot of the time. Guess what? That me likes being back. She can stay as far as I'm concerned because she is fun, confident and genuine. The best thing is that I'm back, and not in MLC. lol
This has definitely been my journey, too. I'm learning a lot about myself. Who I was, am, and how those two are one and the same. They can coexist quite nicely, and I will enjoy life as it comes.
If H ever did decide to come back, I believe with a lot of hard work, patience and time we could have a better M than ever. If H decides to never come back, I believe that I can have a great life without him. I am gaining the tools on this trip to use to make whatever happens happen without regrets.
SA, From your posting...sounds like the party was a huge success. That's what counts. You were a delightful hostess who went to great lengths to make sure everyone had a great time. You handled the situation w/your h gracefully and that's all you could have asked of youself.
Pursuing? Not likely...you were seeing one of your guests off for the evening. He definitely wasn't comfortable and he rode off into the sunset w/plenty to think about.
Your journey has had its ups and downs, but you have found your footing and no matter what happens, you are going to be okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I forgot to mention a point of interest in how far the disconnect can go in my MLCer.
H's cousin was telling me that she was having a conversation with H about the trip he took with ow to NC in April. Cousin said to H you know you could have taken (my name) on a trip like that. H said to her yeah, but she's got all those kids. Cousin said to H those kids are your kids, too. H didn't respond.
I'm not sure how long ago that convo took place, but this was a man whose kids looked up to and adored him and he them. Talk about detachment!
BTW - H and ow went with her daughter, D's bf, and three grandkids.
To our experienced DBers, is this unusual even for a MLCer or par for the course?
I'm no expert on anything, but I know trash talk when I hear it. SHE'S got all THOSE kids?? I'm getting some of the same from my WH. He's all taken with OW 10 year old, so much so that he's forgotten his own 7 kids and 12 grands.
I don't know if its par for the course for the MLCer, but it's par for the course of an a@@hole.
By the way, I've written you something on my thread.
Ladies, Yes it is par for the course of the mlcer to look at his/her kids as those kids or the lbs' kids. You have to remember that they've gone back in time and in their crazy little minds, we are not part of their lives now, so they detach we become that person w/those kids.
Let it roll off your back...they won't remember half of what they've said if they ever wake up.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I agree with Snodderly. You were seeing a guest off. But, if you felt uncomfortable about it afterwards, use the info to do something different next time.
I guess maybe I thought it was pursuing because I saw H walking away and I followed and caught up to say goodbye.
The words that my heart was screaming to let out, my head controlled. Thank God H won't look into my eyes because they betray ma and tell all.
The only thing I felt bad about was watching H leave. Knowing he was headed away from me and recognizing once again there was nothing I could do to stop him.
I let those feelings wash over me as I watched H pull away. I honored them and then put them away and went back to the party and continued to enjoy our guests.
