Cucoon isn't there a friend or family member who will manage the communication and pick up etc for you?

Your H can insist all he wants about putting his son to bed. You can simply tell him he doesn't live here so he's not welcome in the home.

He's still seeing you and the home as a safety net. He needs to REALIZE he's not welcome there anymore.

And the reason his son is happy to see him is because likely you do all the disciplining.

I would be getting a third party to handle pick up and drop off.

Have you spoken to a lawyer at all about a separation agreement?

You are doing well by cutting down on the contact... I am wondering if he thinks he's welcome back at any time at all.