Had a good night's sleep, woke up to the W texting me early asking if I am awake. replied "yes". she then replies will you let me in on why you were upset last night? I replied: Im not upset actually, just had an awakening yesterday. But I am not going to discuss it like this. It is disrespectful and we are not in high school, we will talk in person. her reply: I dont like you talking down to me. my reply: i am not talking down to you sorry you feel that way. her reply: what did you do last night? went to AA speaker met with some AA people afterwards and went home. her rpely: went well? my reply: yes. Then the phone rings and its my kids, my 5 year old son gets on the phone and says he wants to come home and be with me, I know that was eating the W up. She says to him you just got her and you need to spend time with Grandpa Jimbo, he says no I want to go home to Dad. All this time I am feeling on top of the world, because I know it is eating her up.
I get off the phone with the kids, and the texts start again. She types: when are you going to your borther's tonight so I can make sure we r back in time for kids to spend time with you. I pause and start to think, is she for real? is she not understanding that what I am telling her is that we need to have a discussion that things are not going to go as planned when she gets home? is she trying to control and manipulate the siuation? so I pull myself out of that mindset and type back, we will talk when you get home. She replies: you say that communicating via text is disrespectful....so is ignoring all my questions. U dont get to demand when we talk about something. I do not reply to that, then she calls 2 minutes later. Is it wrong for me to be glad she is getting worked up? feeling the stress as I have during this? I say not, she is getting some of it dished back at her, I am taking some control back as well as my Balls as Robx would put it.
So I answer the phone and she asks how it went last night. I told her it was a powerful speaker and good message. She asked what my awakening was , I just replied to her that we will talk about it when you get home. She starts to get agitated and basically says I dont understand why we cant talk now, and says goodbye and hangs up.
I am going to leave it alone. Obviously she has been stewing all night since she started back up where we left off las night, first thing this morning. I am sure she is sitting there trying to justify that what I am doing is why she is upset in the M. Until she realizes I am not doing anything, that it is all her, she will be the one in Limbo, not me. I will go to church shortly, talk to God and ask him to give me the strength to stand firm today and not back down. I know she will be stewing all day long, and when she gets home it will be all my fault.
