I agree, OIN I think you might have some extremely high expectations, considering you are right at the beginning of the reconciliation, that's a recipe for disaster. In fact high expectations are a recipe for disaster at any time during a relationship, it's just a lot of pressure to deal with.
You were ready to accept that this relationship was over and live without her, now that you guys are reconciling you have to just accept her the way she is right now: she is damaged, broken, guarded, defensive, insecure, afraid that you guys will repeat all the same mistakes and end up exactly where you guys were.
Or you can just be happy because happiness is a DIY type job, only you can take care of your personal happiness, let go of the expectations, just let her be.
She may surprise you over time when she gets more comfortable around you and doesn't have to stand on top of a ladder meeting those high expectations you indirectly place on her and the relationship. When she gets more comfortable and relaxed around you, you may well see that "i love you's" come in a way that you want to hear them and all those other things you probably can't do right now.
