Why don't you just ask her? Have you ever told her how much you've felt that you've given for the anniversaries past and she barely acknowledges it?
Rather than holding it all in, you could just go straight to the source. Or you could talk to your MIL about it and see what she says. You're stockpiling resentment and that's not good.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
You know, this is one of my pet peeves. You are a nice guy and do nice things, like bring flowers and a card on the anniversary. She is, for whatever reason, not into doing that stuff (which does not mean that she doesn't like GETTING it, she just may not be a GIVING kind of person. So, instead of her changing into a nice, giving person like you, you change into a not-giving person like her. So the situation gets worse, not better. I think if you felt like buying the flowers and making the anniversary special you should have. Things are only special is someone goes to the trouble of making them special. The day is not special by itself. And if you wait for the not giving person to do it, you will wait forever. Don't wait for her. Do it because YOU want to, because YOU want your anniversary to be special.
Doc, Remember--positive leadership. We are to influence the change we want to see. On the ride home in traffic, you could have switched on the radio or your Ipod, to get away from your negative thinking.
It's hard to know why she didn't acknowledge your anniversary. I don't know what her pattern is with this sort of thing. You sure got yourself in a state of mind, that you wanted her to say it.
CL
Last edited by Concerned_Listener; 07/16/1005:10 PM.
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Doc, It seems like my emotions start to surface the closer I get to my W--I think it's a combination of fear, anger, and frustration. GAL and being roommates is much easier.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
Well I do think the "as if" worked. I know what you mean lotus BUT sometimes we do not appreciate something until we lose it. So like I said I just acted "as it" and went to MIL house to work on her Garage door opener. After I was there for about an hour I got a call from W on my C phone. She asked how long I Waa going to be I asked why and she said becasue if I was going to be there for a while she wanted to bring son over and have an Anny. Drink with me, Son and MIL. I said I will be here a while and to make a long story short... (Ya right) she did come over... we had drinks and she came over to me and said. "Happy 21 years I know it has not been easy"
Some other things have happened over the weekend that I am not going to get into but I will leave you all with this...
WIFE AND I ML LAST NIGHT... no that is not a typo
Note: After 3 years Doc still remembered how
P.S Lotus…..We had the Annv. Drinks on thrusday, Friday on the way home from school I did pick up some Red Roses
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
WOW!!! I have goose bumps! I'm so happy for you. I think it has now been proven...you can do anything you set your mind to! I hope she enjoyed it and will do it again.
