I think you've about covered it, CD, altho I would say on the "if she gets wild" part that you CALL THE COPS. Seriously.
On this one:
Quote:
If it's the silent treatment (W's personal favorite) "I see you don't want to talk. That's fine. I have decided that I have taken your crap for far too long. Since your choices regarding this family have taken us here, I'll be making the decisions where we go from here. You have Calla until Friday night as I'll be leaving early Saturday. You can stay here or stay elsewhere til then. She'll be back here the following Sunday at 6 as arranged. I'll have a Separation Agreement Drawn up by August 10. Please begin packing your personal belongings. I will not live with infidelity one minute longer than legally required. The house will be supervised while I am away"
First of all, I wouldn't say "infidelity" -- too soft of a word, and you make IT the subject of the sentence. I'd say something like "I will not live in a marriage where my wife is cheating on me one minute longer than legally required." Or "I cannot live in a marriage where my wife is having an affair and rubs my nose in it. I deserve better." Or some such.
I also think you need to be prepared with what you will say and do if she says something like "Well, that may be what YOU have decided, but that's not the way it's going to happen!" Because now that you blew up their little love tryst, the two of them have probably spent the weekend preparing what SHE is going to tell YOU, and how SHE thinks it's all going to go down.
Most importantly, you have correctly identified your "home base" core:
I have to prevent overtalking and getting sucked in. ...
But the key is to look good; feel good; strong posture and soft low voice. And keep her in front of me. Right in the eyes. No hint of strain.
I know there are several tangents she could go off on. But I can alswys fall back on infidelity and trust/lies. And grind them.
