My situation being what it is - Career Army, always off somewhere, just a difference in how long and will he come back alive- make it different for me. I am very self sufficient, very able to take care of things on my own, yet the pain at first was just as if he had been here with me everyday. Because he was here - on my mind, in my heart, in our relationship. I kept telling myself things were not so very different, just no phone calls, but the grief was just as powerful.
As SA says, you have come a very long way in a short time from where you started, without the background I had of self support. Grief is grief, and we all go through it at our own pace. It will get easier, we do go on, we fall down and then pick ourselves up again. Don't doubt yourself, you are doing great.
