So, the calm continues. Not much drama. First time in....since ever. The honeymoon of being alone with myself is coming to an end. What is left in the place of all the drama is emptiness. Sadness. Tears. Depression. Anger. Its much easier to be fired up to stand up for myself when there's something to stand up against. The silence from H is scary. My mind has more free time to imagine all the great times H is having with OW.
It's thrown me off. Do I continue to move forward with D? Do I continue to fight for custody and push D to a conclusion? Do I ask him to get his stuff out by a certain date?
Or do I let it sit quietly for a while, hoping my dimness has some effect down the line - hoping he is finally faced with himself and the choices he's made and comes a bit out of the fog? Do I console myself that we are still legally M and that only when alone can he face his demons, stop blaming them on me, and perhaps come around someday?
I read about people who reconsile after two or more years. Do I want to wait it out? Or do I gather the reigns and direct the horse to jump off the cliff? My decision will determine my next thread, obviously I need a new one. lol.
Thoughts folks? Support needed tonight. Very very sad and confused.
