Gotta figure out how to post the link to my last thread . . . after looking at everyone else's, I realize it's just hanging here a bit! Perhaps someone can tell me how to get it in my signature?
JOURNAL: Tonight I find myself wondering if I'm just affair-busting as a sort of ego thing - would I really, truly want my H back after this? Could I trust him again? I mean . . . life's inevitably going to deal some tough blows and if he goes wayward that easily, what would happen if . . . a parent passed? we had a special needs child? one of us or a child was diagnosed with a serious illness? one or both of us lost a job? Part of me thinks he just demonstrated how easily he's willing to jump ship and maybe I should be looking for a hardier sailor!
But of course I don't want him and OW together - even if I don't take him back. The thought of the two of them playing family with my daughter present just makes me sick. Yeah, I know if we divorce that this will eventually happen with another woman, BUT just the thought of this illegitimate relationship being legitimized over time is enough to drive me over edge . . .
As for the moral issue of staying married at all costs - some days I buy this and some days I find myself remembering that most moral codes allow for dissolution of marriage in cases of adultery. And though I wonder about what my daughter will learn about marriage if we divorce, part of me also wonders what I teach her by staying with her dad in this situation. I mean, what are chances of repeat behavior?
Also, I had a serial-cheater boyfriend in HS (sex addict, I think we'd call him these days) . . . cheated at least 4 times that I knew of . . . what I learned from that is that outside support for betrayed person dwindles when SO repeats the offending behavior. Everyone is on team Melody this time, but if it ever happened again down the road . . . would they be so quick to join or would they be like, "told her."
So maybe someone needs to smack some sense into me and maybe these are normal feelings at some sort of the process.
