QS - I understand why you got the phone number. Flirted with that boundary myself a bit . . . and got the same response from Allen . But you know what . . . was short lived for me. Just needed to know I could. And you know, I think there is an energy you turn on when you're hungry for that . . . as soon as I started wondering and thinking about whether I could, boom! it's like guys were looking left and right. I think while securely married, I just stopped giving off that energy. Wonder if I stopped giving it off for my H too and that was the problem. See . . . some of us got our exes because we were exuding sexuality at the time and they were drawn to that. I mean, I met my H while wearing pleather pants and a sequined tube top in a frat party. I was 18 . . . and yeah, I outgrew that as most people will. Years later . . . its turned off just due to life and the rush and pace of maintaing home, jobs, etc. I think it took my H's affair for me to reclaim this part of me. And yeah, it takes discipline not to use it to get a quick fix for the emotional needs when H is clearly wayward and having those needs met elsewhere.
So, though I eventually agree with Allen's advice to toss the number, I think it's healthy to reclaim that part of you.
. But you know what . . . was short lived for me. Just needed to know I could. And you know, I think there is an energy you turn on when you're hungry for that . . . as soon as I started wondering and thinking about whether I could, boom! it's like guys were looking left and right. I think while securely married, I just stopped giving off that energy. Wonder if I stopped giving it off for my H too and that was the problem. See . . . some of us got our exes because we were exuding sexuality at the time and they were drawn to that. I mean, I met my H while wearing pleather pants and a sequined tube top in a frat party. I was 18 . . . and yeah, I outgrew that as most people will. Years later . . . its turned off just due to life and the rush and pace of maintaing home, jobs, etc. I think it took my H's affair for me to reclaim this part of me. And yeah, it takes discipline not to use it to get a quick fix for the emotional needs when H is clearly wayward and having those needs met elsewhere.