Gritt... I knew your intentions / and as a former English teacher:) I knew it was better for a student to find his/her own errors / just took patience:)! Hell, maybe that's my whole problem - too much tolerance of imperfection:):):):)
Brooklyn... I know that EVERYTHING you said is true. I absolutely had the wind knocked out of me yesterday. How is it - through all that H has done - some REALLY, REALLY, disturbing things - I am still naive? Why aren't I jaded? Why do I still believe? I've always thought that I was intuitive about people and their feelings - but with H I tend to only see/believe the good.
Well, my goal today - with the help of my sister and father - is to get a plan of action together for the legal and financial aspects - as well as for home repair.
Soon, I'll be happy as a clam:)!!!!
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Clam Place? Snag as a bag in a rag. It doesn't matter, we all knew what was meant. FOr the longest time all I could see of my H was how wonderful he was. Then our own kids started to point out that maybe he wasn't so wonderful. Maybe he was only what i made him out to be, which wasn't fair to either of us.
I said once before, it's hard when you come to the realization that what they love is the reflection of themselves in our eyes.
Once I did realize that, and started seeing him as the flawed and confused human he is, I was better able to detach and look at myself with clearer eyes. Take care of you, of yours, and let God take care of him, as I am sure he is watching over you.
That's great insight. My Ds do the same thing - so do my closest friends - but I guess that I still see him as I do when we were teens and fell in love. I need to grow up!
IB
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Tough evening. H was at S's game. One of the mothers on the team pulled me aside to let me know that my S and another team mate had snuck out of the house the other night. My heart sank to my stomach.
I ask my H if we could talk and I told him what had occurred and he said "well just shut him down more" - WTH / I just look at him say ok and walk away. He then texts me later and says "do WE need to talk more? Do WE need to tell him?" I text back say "no, I've got it handled" He texts me later on and asks if I had shut him down and asked how he was. I let him know that yes - we r all good.
WTF???? Who is this man?? I imagine that he had made plans with his new "friends" and this issue may have interfered with his evening. My heart continues to be broken. I miss my H. I miss sharing parenting. I miss having him hold me at the end of the night. I miss spooning in bed. I miss him holding my hand. In a span of 24 hours - it was gone. Now he is with strangers.
How did this become my life? All I see are couples all around me and I'm lonely - even though I am with family. Am I crazy????
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
Imlin, I am really worried about my financial situation. I think Im going to call my lawyer tomorrow and see if my state has legal separation i live in NJ. My h came over the other day and said he need title for his tri axle dump truck probably worth 30,000 I said I will look for it. Im not giving that to him, im calling my lawyer and telling him. i am really worried about the debt he is getting in he said he owes a lot of people money I have to do something to take care of me and my son financially I dont want to lose my house because of his crazy spending. He had his 80 yr old mother take out a home equity loan for him.
Rysmom - Definitely look into legal separation - finances are the primary reason for my moving forward on this. Also - to put some structure into visits with S.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
