Stilt: We all backslide, so join us in that club! Take a deep look at what in you drives your behavior. Yes, it's perfectly natural to want her back. But this can be your time to grow, if you are open to that possibility. Focus on yourself, for that's all you can control. Try reading some Buddhist material about control, or the lack thereof. At the end of the day, you cannot control her. We oh so don't like hearing that. I didn't like that either. But I eventually detached, and as everyone says it does make all the difference. I was in some of the same situations as you are now; several years down the road, I'm in a better place.
What can you learn about yourself from this crisis? If you do not see this as a learning opportunity for your own development as a person, you will have missed something beautiful. Painful, but beautiful. Look at home many LBS on these boards have said that the separation and/or divorce turned out to be a blessing. It can be that for you too, but you must make that choice. Trauma often leads to regression and a host of attempts to cover the pain. Or, it can be a catalyst for some of the most amazing insights into yourself and life that you will ever experience. The choice is yours. Keep us posted. We're here for you and pulling for you. Take care.
