Question

[awest1217]

Today was ok. H had tears in his eyes when he dropped off S, but still nothing said to me about anything. He gave me a hug again, which will need to stop. We did talk this time for about 20 minutes about S and what he did for H. S was a wholy terror for H. He was in time out a lot, but S isn't used to H, and H isn't used to S. S just cried for me because when he gets in trouble with me, he immediately wants to say he is sorry, cuddle, and talk about what was wrong. I think H talks over S's head a little, but he will learn. I kept everything about S, was upbeat, and just gave some suggestions because I know S's personality (very much like my own...AAAHHH! but what do you expect when I was the sole parent while his personality was forming) and I know what works with him. You really have to treat him like an adult to get him to do what you would like. You have to let him put the food on his plate and do everything himself. Allow him to help you cook. He likes to be involved, and if he doesn't want to eat I don't fight him and make him eat. I just let him go hungry or later make him eat his dinner.

S was very excited about it all. He couldn't wait to hang out with daddy, and I think that was part of the reason why he had a hard time today. He didn't eat anything with H, but it has been very hot, and on top of that, he was too excited to eat. He just wants to play play play because he doesn't see H very often. I think S sees H as a playmate and not as a dad or parent. Maybe more like an uncle so I think it is very hard on him when H disciplines him because he isn't with him often. When my brother disciplines S, S cries and comes to me then I talk to him about what he did wrong as the parent. I think S feels secure with me and will have to learn to feel some of that with H. H has a lot of trust rebuilding with him too.

I was surprisingly ok. I had a few sad moments, mostly when I thought about last night, but otherwise it was nice to have the day to myself. I got a lot of stuff done; oil changed, car washed, house cleaned, S's 2T clothes put away and 3T put out, packed more of H's things, moved my clothes into the closet in my bedroom that used to be H's and I was leaving open for H, went shopping, went to the zoo with my B, SIL, and nephew, and then S came home. I also got pics printed to replace my wedding photo wall, and other pics printed. Oh yea, and I got a ton planned for Sunday school. Now I have to print some stuff out hopefully tomorrow morning to give to the teachers to start August 1. It felt like I had a babysitter for the day. Now S is not spending the night because in IN there must be 9 months solid visitation with a toddler before overnights begin, plus H and I agree S shouldn't spend the night until H has his own place and S is used to it. Tonight at 6 S was asking for me becuase he was getting tired and ready for bed so overnights won't be a good thing right now.

So once overnights happen...that is when I will have a very hard time because I will miss my baby and hate not seeing him for two whole days, but that won't happen for at least 9 months so nothing to worry about for me until almost the end of the upcoming school year.