as we move forward II

[braveheart]

Mandy, how old is your son? I really think at this point you need to set your son down and just tell him that you have done all you can in regards to his father and its his father who have made these choices concerning his son. I would then leave it in son's hands as to what to do and I would have no further contact with XH.

[mandyloo]

I thankyou Braveheart, son is coming up 16 years old and what you have posted is exactly what I have done, I knew the storm was brewing again, I am done, its between son and ex now, although I dont think it will be xxxx

[forward]

ML, Some of this may be typical adolescent stuff with the abandonment thrown in.

Sounds as if you are doing the right things.

[mandyloo]

Thankyou for your reply forward, yes from sons point of view I think you have hit the nail on the head, adolescent and yes he is still very hurt from his dad abandoning him, but he is more hurt that dad still insists on trying to force son to have some form of relationship with the woman that took dad from him. I also think ex is like an adolescent too and needs to grow up. well there has been no contact since sunday and i arent expecting any, suppose it will be another 2 and half years of none speaking between them, well I put my neck on the block to get them to speak this time last year, I wont be doing it again, maybe I did the wrong thing, but I have had no thanks or appreciation of ex, just the phone calls when he wanted to moan about or slate son off, and then last sunday back to the angry ex in that he was playing the blame game and everything was back to being my fault, well Im sorry I cannot live my life like that, I have things to look forward to and so as son, we will survive without ex, we have done okay in the last five years, life is too short to live walking on eggshells and trying to be the peacemaker, especially when there is no gratitude, so I will leave it be now, if son and ex contact each other and least it wont be down to me. xxxxx

[braveheart]

Mandy, I think you are doing right, just move on, you have done all that you can and then some.

[mandyloo]

thankyou Braveheart xxx

[BeingMe]

No-one can say you didn't try and then some. And, then to have it thrown back in your face when he messes it up, by blaming you ... again.

You are doing the right thing .... keep moving on.

[mandyloo]

Thankyou BeingMe xxx

[punkin]

Amen - there is only so much you can do to protect your children from the damage imposed by their father. Peace to you.

[mandyloo]

thankyou Punkin xxx