The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Journaling:
I'm doing very well. She moved out yesterday. Good. No more having to live in the same house. She seemed surprised when I politely declined her offer to pay her phone bill and to store my stuff at her new house. I was very clear however that I do not trust her and do not want to be joined in any way.
Of course, she responded with something about her lawyer. Not surprised.
Came home to an empty house. The good part is that it's much easier to clean.

Have been reading more from Gucci's thread in newcomers. Good advice I think. Things I thought I knew before being brought back into focus. Like reconnecting with parts of myself. Absolutely right - let them go free. The sooner the better.
I know in my case it was very important that my children see it this way. It was very important that they see their mom leave and not me. It was very important for me to to know that I did everything I could think of to save my marriage. That I left nothing undone. I can say that is the case.
I can also say I would never recommend to anyone that they put up with the crap I've put up with. Nobody deserves that. Took me a while to really see how to deal with it though. She's a craft one.

My father made me nervous the other day. He mentioned that she won't stop antoginizing me for a long time. He mentioned that he thinks she won't be satisfied until she feels like she "won" and that won't happen until she feels like I "lost". I don't get that, but I can't dispute it either. My lawyer appt is next week and I am looking for some way to protect myself and my kids from her in the future. Hope he can offer some advice in that arena. By protect I mean protect from her legally harassing me. I know she will have much more disposable resources when she graduates and I can see where she may try to use them. Sad, but I can see it.

Anyway, just keeping busy getting some replacement furniture and a grill. Not sure what else is missing just yet, but still looking around and gathering whatever she forgot and putting it into bags.

I miss my kids.

AJ