The saga continues

[OfficerInNeed]

Gucci,
You are right. I always seem to go against the grain. When our sitch began and for the past 7 months I regretted never starting a family with my W. My W always talked about having children one day (soon) and I always had reasons (excuses) why not to.

Now that my W has given us that second chance and is talking about once again US starting a family I start my doubting. Many things go through my head such as finances, the current state of our R...it is a like a whirlwind. I get so caught up that I fail to see the pure joy it would be to start a family with my W.

I WILL change my tune. I WANT the same things my W does, I worry about the logistics rather than letting things just be. I will just let them be from now on.

I thank you for you insight and advice.

I am also a nit wit and I am ruining our chances (keep reading)

W came home from work and was in a bad mood. I greeted W with a welcoming "Hi" and W responded with "Hi" but sounded as if I had forced it out of her. Instinctively I asked my W is she was OK and she simply replied "fine."

W then showed me a couple pics on her cellphone she took of our dog as she walked in the door. W then went on to tell me how a female co-worker and her got into a conversation a show that my W and I are going to on July 29th and coincidentally so is the female co-worker. My W thought it was funny and so I expressed I I too thought it was amusing.

After, W went and changed out of her work clothes and came to lay in bed. W laid in bed with her back turned toward me and was distant (in space). I questioned W why she was so far away (mistake) after a day we had like yesterday. W got upset and said "Just because we 'did that' does not mean were going to do it everyday, I can't just jump in a pool of happiness, it is going to take time."

I guess at that point I questioned why she would consider starting a family with me is things between us are not so great (HUGE MISTAKE).

W said "Nothing is going to be like it was" I told W "I understand that and I agree, I don't want things to be like they were" then I went on to say "I think we should establish better communication between each other, it is OK for a H/W to tell the other what it is they want or need..." then I went on to say (which I probably should not had) "...what is it you want from me" and W replied "To feel loved and feel like I am everything"

Not sure how to respond. I create my own problems. If I did not try to read into her mood when she came home and just let her figure things out for herself it would never had resulted in that conversation. WOW.

Then I read Gucci's post and wanted to kick myself. I know you all told me this and are becoming frustrated me ( I can only imagine how my W feels) and I apologize, please bare with me. I GET IT (you have my word). Thank you for all the help and guidance.