Gee, I don't know if you can get all of that in a therapist...Buddhist+solution based+pro-marriage? On the other hand, I think Avermont found someone like that to help her (as an IC).

But here is a link to finding marriage friendly therapists if it helps:
http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/index.php

Yeah, being fun and flirty if you can manage to not be pursuing sounds good! Think of Seeing Red- if you haven't checked out her thread, it is mighty full of ideas for alluring her husband while she is leading an independent life with the kids!

me,34
exH,34
S,16 months
S:3/31/09-left for OW
started DBing 10/09
d final: sometime 10/10
current:
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1
met in 2004