I am frustrated today. H continues to do nothing around the house but play on the stupid XBox. We're talking 8pm - 3am last night and is back on it again already today. I ask myself why he makes no effort to reconnect with me or do anything for the M. My answer is this: I feel H must be getting his emotional needs met elsewhere: whether through email, texts, or phone calls... he is withdrawn from me because he is listening to someone else. I have basically ruled out a PA because there is just no available time for it. There's no reason though why he can't be emailing or texting someone else during working hours and getting his fix.
Here's the thing: what the heck do I do about it??? Is there anything I can do?! I can't catch him at it. Would it do any good at this point to demand the Blackberry and passwords or do I have to wait until he seems vested enough in our R that he would be willing to have full transparency? It's obviously easy enough for him to cover his tracks in all of this.
My options, it seems, are these:
1. Status Quo: remain in this detached R until something gives (continuing to DB)
2. Initiate conversation about R and see what he has to say about it. If he says he wants to work on M, lay down the law on transparency. If he says he still is not sure (and basically wants to continue to cake eat) then lay down the law and state absolutely no sexual contact.
3. Be patient and try to gather more intel. I'm thinking at this point it will take a professional because Im not getting anywhere!
The FT didn't really have much practical advice on this so I'm not sure what to do. She sees my only option as #1. I guess pushing for #2 would mean I have to initiate conversation about R which LBS's are not supposed to do. However, how am I supposed to show any self respect by just living with cake eating???
I suppose there could truly be nothing going on in the way of EA. Maybe it stopped and he is still withdrawn... but I don't see letting him continue on and living the good life at home as motivating H to break it off if there is one - which we all know is important to do asap.
