Hi QS - I know what you mean about mornings and about losing hope to some degree - I am battling this too. I think letting it go completely is part of the healing process, and I think most of the successful affair busters on this board have all said that at some point they really let go - didn't care if spouse came back or not. I think you have to get there. I've mentally let go a couple times myself, and new intel tends to put me back into the negative loop of caring. Then I have to make a concerted effort to restart the positive GAL and 180s I'm doing.
So, I'd suggest that you get a GAL routine, and do it even when you don't feel like it. Excercise is that thing for me - somedays I want to sit on the couch and read this board all day - gotta force myself to go work out. Then I always feel at least a little better. The bookstore works wonders too . . . as does any sort of "planning" for the new me, be it reading excercise and fitness books, thinking through what I'd like to do with the next 5 years for ME, etc.
Getting attention from females is probably helpful - I have definitely sought out male attention. It's a little bit of a slippery slope, though, I found, as I actually caved to it at one point and kissed a guy in a bar . . . be careful with that. But, there is definitely a self esteem boost from knowing you still got it . . . like the sunglasses to the bar. Bad boy!
