Question

[awest1217]

Last night was crazy!!!!!!

All was well when H picked up S. I had S ready and he left without a hitch. Then when S comes home H tries to give me a hug...NO WAY! He doesn't get to be all lovey when he just told me 4 days ago he doesn't want to be married anymore. He also gave S an old Toy Story toy MIL had saved from when his brothers were kids. I open it for S, and inside in a card for me.

It says how he regrets hurting me and wishes he could change it, but can't, but he still will love me forever. WHAT!?!?!?! I started balling and started going off on H through texting because I knew he wouldn't answer the phone. To keep it short, I wasn't really mean, I just told him that he said he didn't want to be my husband anymore and he continually chooses to not be with me so leave me alone and deal with it because it is his choice. I also asked why, which I know he will never get an answer to. He said he was sorry for ruining my night and he just wanted to say sorry about hurting me. I told him I don't want some generic apology that just soothes him. I want the truth about everything he has done and what has happened and why after all my hard work that he still doesn't want to stay married.

No reply to that. He just said sorry for giving you the card.

I feel he did it just to hold on to me again, hoping i would just let everything go back to how they were so he had his "friend/wife" back. Not happening. I asked him when I would be free of him or would I forever have to deal with things like this (like his brother is doing to his ex girlfriend). He said as soon as he saves the money he would file and I would be free. Not once did he say he didn't want this or wanted to stay married or even friends. He not once said anything like that...

Then an aquaintenance sends me a story on FB about a married guy who wants to D because of an OW and his W asks for him to just carry her to the door every day for a month while their son finishes his finals. He said ok, and did it. After the month, he goes to the OW and tells her he wants to stay married only to have his W die to cancer, but it said at least his son always thought of him as a loving husband and never as a cheating one. I sent it to H, and asked him why again we couldn't work.

I know I will never get the answer, and I will have to move on. Hopefully H will leave me alone now and I will get time to get over this and heal. This is definitely different from anything else, but he made his choice so now to stick to my ultimatum. I am strong enough now to not allow him to hurt me anymore.

Today H picked up S and was crying. I told him some things we need to discuss about health insurance because he doesn't want to add S to his dental plan, but then that leaves me to pay everything out of pocket.

I am going to go now and clean the house and possibly mow, but I may save mowing for when S is here because he likes to do that with me. Then I am going to go shopping for some stuff for me, and finally end up at my brother's for dinner. I already got the oil changed in my car and got it washed. I am also going to change the wall of wedding pics I have to pics of S at the beach and through the seasons. The only pic left to change is the family pic and I will be getting a new one taken the first week of august when I get S's yearly pics taken. Detaching the best I can.