Well... (I love your word there, nog!) yes, I suppose so. I wouldn't say she was for our reconciliation. WH did say he didn't want to work on the marriage, though, so... but she did also say "some marriages aren't meant to be." That definitely bothered me.
This is really hard for me, actually. If WH wanted her, then I'd probably go with it.
One good thing is that she is located for away, so it really isn't a convenient location for either of us.
See, this is what my therapist tells me I have to work on-- telling him what I want. So the question is, what do I want in a therapist?
I want a therapist who will support us fighting to stay together. But I want someone who has that as the backdrop and then helps us move into the serious stuff we have to deal with. I want someone who will say "It sounds like you guys have a lot of good things to work with. There are issues, but you can make it." (Sorry, i have to write this out because I don't know exactly what I want and this is helping.) So I want someone who will be positive for our specific sitch. Is that too much to ask?
Then, once we do delve into things, I want someone who will... I don't even know, guide us through really thick areas. Point out good things when it seems everything is bad. Give us confidence that we can make it. Give us exercises to work on at home and handouts and 'homework.'
So that is what I want.
Male or female? I guess it doesn't matter if they can do the above. I sort of want a male, but that's for WH's sake. I guess for my sake I want a female.
I also want someone with a Buddhist perspective.
The one thing i don't know is if I want one who 'looks to the past' or is 'solution oriented.' I think I'm leaning to the solution type.
Okay, so that's that.
It is a good idea to find 3 and let him choose. But guys, this is so tenuous, I don't even want to bring it up.
I didn't hear from WH at all yesterday. It is sort of what I expected-- a major step was taken and he needed more space. I'm supposed to be going out of town today (I might cancel that) so I'm not sure if I'll hear from him. The next time he comes over is Monday.
So we'll see what happens then. . . my guess is that nothing on the counseling front will happen and I will have to start hinting at it in AUgust. And I don't know if I want to do that.
