After Exposure - Keep It Going

[Quicksilver264]

Can I ask you guys something? Why are the mornings the HARDEST?

For me, when I wake up in the morning, EVERY day the horrible reality sets in of my situation. It's like when my brain turns on as I wake up, the FIRST thoughts that come into it are

"She's divorcing you" - "She doesn't want you anymore" - "She's going to be with someone else" - "Why isn't she next to me in bed right now?"

That's how my days start off, and the mornings are terribly hard.

I found out yesterday through intel that she MIGHT be taking a job 3-4 hours away. The pay is a little bit better than she makes now, but the area is rural and VERY cheap for housing.

She said she wants to take it to get away from me and from here.

IF she takes it, it is a VERY long commitment, and I don't see her ever returning to near me at all.

Do any of you think this is a sign of a spouse that is just too far gone for ANYTHING to EVER make a difference?

I am just interested in opinions. It won't change how I GAL and work on me, but it may affect whether or not I choose to have ANY hope for the marriage.

I know I can't change her, but we can CHOOSE to hope for a miracle. But it does cause some pain. However, I was always willing to suffer some pain to keep my hope alive.