I did a lot of research, but I’ve boiled down the list to the following. I was very skeptical of the Men are from Mars books as I presumed they were pop psych books. It’s hard to dismiss them, though, when you have no idea what happened in your relationship and you learn that they completely describe your behavior and your wife’s response. The below books will allow you to stop focusing on your own pain and focus on hers because you’ll begin to understand how her emotional well being has been slowly and steadily eroded. As much trauma as we’ve experienced in one fell swoop, they have experienced over a long period. As you gain more insight, be prepared to feel guilty, but you need to move past that to where you will actually feel compassion for her. You will begin to look at her as similar to a person who is drowning. They would never intentionally drown another person, but in trying to save themselves, they will pull others (you and your children) under too. They’re just trying to save themselves. (Of course, this doesn’t apply to every sitch.) That is how much pain and distress THEY are in.
John Gray “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.”
John Gray “Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress”
MWD “Divorce Remedy.”
Gary Chapman “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts”
Patricia Love, et al, “Hot to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It” (Sounds snarky, but it’s not.)
Patricia Love, “The Truth about Love”
Plenty of other good books, but these are the ones that come immediately to mind.
