Training for a Marathon, Hoping for a Sprint

[lookin4support]

No reason to worry about it now. As part of my GAL and living for me, I emailed her and let her know that as someone who didn't like cats, I wasn't go to end up as the one with the cat and that she needed to let me know where to take it. She used that as an opportunity to let me know that we needed to sit down and go over bills and assets and decide who was going to take care of what, and who was going to get what. I asked if that meant she was done and, of course, the answer was yes. Twenty-five years together and it is over just like that. I melted down a little, but have since recovered with the help of a great-listening friend. If anything, this will help me push down the path of GAL and learning to live without her. I haven't given up hope, but I must admit it appears much dimmer to me than it did a couple of days ago.

She is coming over tomorrow to go over finances and I told her that when she left, there was to be nothing of hers left in the house. If this is how she wants it, she is going to get it all the way. Also, she earns about twice what I do, but wants to split things 50/50. I contacted a friend that is a divorce attorney ( I wanted to wait about 6 more months on that move) and told him the situation. He said it was okay to discuss it, but not to agree to anything until he and I sat down early next week to go over it. I let her know that was the case, so tomorrow may be interesting. My plan with the attorney is separation paperwork, not divorce. But I don't plan on waiting too long to begin the process of divorce. I can always slow it down, or stop it, if she comes to her senses. If not, I need to have my a$$ covered.

So, I spent the last 1.5 hours packing up all her stuff and setting it by the door so the incredibly sad process of watching her pack it up slowly doesn't have to happen. I texted and told her to clean out her trunk, because she was going to need all the room she could get.

Said some things in our conversation tonight that probably weren't good for DBing, but I have to admit I am glad I got them out. The one thing I did do right was I let her know that I was praying for her multiple times a day to mend her relationship with God. I said, and I meant it, that regardless of how our situation ends up the most important thing to me is that she gets right with him and that is what I pray for. To give an idea of how clueless this WAW is, she said she was sorry she hurt me. I responded that she needed to understand that she didn't hurt me (past tense) but that she was hurting me (present tense). It isn't like this just goes away in a day or two.

Enough rambling. Suffice it to say today sucked and tomorrow will make it seem pleasant.