New here, not sure where to start

[irishblessings]

Taylor -
Hope you avoid my thread today, because I am certainly no model of DBing. When I found out that H had been lying about where he was staying and that he has new "friends" who he is trying to protect / basically I lost it!
I puked my guts / sobbed / cussed / repeated!

My best friend told me that she thought I had "agape" love for H. Agape love means self-sacrificing. I used to think this was an attribute - and it probably is for someone wanting to stand - but as a LBS it is very painful. It's funny that I look back and I think this level of marital love was truly a decision that I made early on in the relationship. Neither one of us had great marital role models - but I had read Steven Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. It talked about a man who told Covey that he didn't love his wife any longer. Covey said "well love her" This conversation continued with the man saying "you don't understand than I don't have those feelings for her, etc." Covey tells him to understand that love is an action = the feelings come afterwards.
We all know the logic of this - but I think our WAHs are in search of feelings without the work. It won't and can't be found.
Let's keep fighting the good fight!