Movin' On...

[BobbiJo]

Wow, God sure does like to see if we mean it when we say things can only get better, doesn't He?

Sigh...

No major problems. However as soon as I posted my mom called to tell me another family saga...her FOO is so messed up. I told her I know, what do you think I spend half of my counseling time talking about!?! They are all about co-dependency, needing to be needed, the neediest in the bunch/most screwed up gets the attention and the love.

Anyway dying Uncle was pressured by lazy, convicted felon/rapist/courtmartialed-marine uncle to let him move back in to my deceased grandma's house bc he couldn't make the $500/mo payments on his rental. Mind you he is 50 years old and has a full time job as a mover. However he told moving company he didn't want any out of town jobs so last week he only worked one day. Nice.

Anywho...dying uncle somehow managed to get a $30K loan to add a wing to grandma's house. Which is where dying uncle and 50 yr old Martyr/Caregiver Aunt have lived for 30+ years; they were there when grandpa died and were told they had to live there to 'take care of grandma'...who was 50 herself at the time and shouldn't have needed taking care of!! (Other uncle in story was not around for that as he was still serving time in prison. Did I mention we spent summer vacations traveling the US visiting him at different prisons? Honestly. I was lied to by my own mom and told we were going to visit Uncle at the military base. Hey, big fences, barbed wire, everyone in the same outfit, I bought it! But I digress...)

Anyway Lazy Uncle promised Dying Uncle he would make the house payments $300/mo for the life of the loan. But now he doesn't want to work. And he added cable and internet service which means more bills...you can see where this is going. Mom fears that caregiver aunt will be homeless if/when the house if foreclosed upon pending uncle #1's death and uncle #2's failure to pay.

I told her it may be the best thing that ever happened to caregiver aunt if she is allowed/allows herself to stop being a martyr, get out there and get an actual job to support herself instead of relying on income from uncle...

Sorry, it was a long story but gives you a glimpse into the joy that is my life.

(mom said I was her therapy for the day which was nice, I told her that her family members had to break the martyr-victim cycle and stand up for themselves)

Then I hop on Facebook and am greeted by a post from Long Lost Cousin (mid 40s) who disappears from existence for long stretches of time and reappears when he wants something. He got his 20-something gf pregnant so he wants to have 'family support' now of their situation. Nevermind he gave his 20 yr old son to his sister years ago bc he and his ex didn't feel like taking care of him..

Anyway he popped up to ask why some of his family was fb friends with two of our cousins. Their dad is/was my uncle, he passed away 5 yrs ago. At that point my aunt (his widow) and their two sons (my cousins) disowned our family, talked trash about grandma--allegedly, I never heard it--etc.

Well said cousins emailed me apologetically 6 months ago and asked if we would forgive them and be friends again. I agreed bc hey, everybody screws up. Well Convict/Lazy Uncle has made it a vendetta, going around seeing which family memebers ARE/ARE NOT 'friends' with said cousins and removing any of us who are, not coming to events if we will be there, etc. And he is trying to build up sides.

Anyway reappearing cousin asks on FB if we could all just 'eliminate' said people from our friends list in honor of grandma?? That opened can of worms and many posts have been sent back/forth on the issue. I am just too old for such juvenille crap!

OK back to my kids and my happy time. Thanks for letting me vent!!!