MLC, H and me

[courageous wife]

Hi all

I am preparing for my "business" meeting with my H and would like to run it by you and get your
opinions and input!

Most of this stuff on this list was discussed in April and went nowhere. I didn't follow through with
it. This is the order I plan to proceed in...starting with what I believe to be easy to hard and then
scary for me!

1) Try to set an every other weekend visitation schedule for the kids

2) Have him sign paper to get my name off of our joint credit card and take over monthly payment

3) Ask him to contribute to the other credit card, 1/2 mo. payment. At one time, it was in both our
names, but H overspent, so I transferred balance to one in my name only. (If only hindsight was
20/20!) In my counter-file with the D, we are asking H to take both credit card payments, but at this
time, I am ok with him paying only half.

4) Discuss upcoming braces for D12.

5) Car insurance bill. Each of us getting our own policy.

6) Our camper. I have someone interested in buying it. I bought it with inheritance money so just
want to make sure H is in agreement that it is mine and ok with me selling it. I don't want this
to be something brought up in court later.

7) Our rental house. It has been sitting empty for 3 mos. Renters left junk that needs to be hauled
away...what are our plans for that?

8) This is where I get nervous...if you recall, H was driving the pick up that I inherited from my Dad.
I got it back, but he took the vehicle that I have driven for the last 6yrs. He also has is hot rod, 2
motorcycles. I miss my little vehicle. It gets better mileage than the truck. I travel 45 mis to go
to work, he drives across town and works the same hours as OW so he really has plenty of
options on getting to and from work. (I, of course would not bring up riding with OW in the con-
versation!)

9) SCARIEST If you have been following along with my sitch, you know that my boss had talked
with me about a house in the next town...kids would be close to school, I work there, SS and DIL
are there etc. My boss went ahead and purchased that house...it needs nothing, it won't need
anything to start as far as repair, smaller, easier to care for and about $300 less a month for a
house payment/rent.

The house I live in now, we owe more than it is worth. It has a huge yard...old and will be
needing repairs. We heat with propane and wood. H always took care of the wood. I am not
going to go out and cut wood!. When I mentioned this to H back in April...he was upset about
it and said he would cut wood etc. for us. He may say that again, but 3 weeks ago, he said he'd
fix our window a/c and hasn't done it yet. (Can I count on him? Do I WANT to count on him?
And...why would he do that for us when he is divorcing me? I wouldn't ask him these ?'s)

I don't think I would mention the other house to him at this time.

I can ask H if he wants this house. IF he says no, which is what I expect, we will have to
figure out what we will do...talk to the mortgage company, file bankruptcy (I DO NOT WANT TO
DO THAT!) or talk with our L's to find out more options, if any.

This is the scariest to me because....we, the LBS, are being guided to move forward, do what is in
the best interest for us and our children.. but.......... when we are standing, we
don't want to give the impression that we have shut the door on any kind of possilbe future R's
with our spouses.

I believe that moving would be in mine and my children's best interest. OTOH, I feel like it look like I
would be shutting the door. I would stay here in this house and freeze my buttoosky off this
winter if I knew FOR SURE that H will be coming back. But, of course I cannot know this for sure.

I could make it through winter and re-evaluate in the spring...if the house is gone, it's gone. There
will be others. This was just a great opportunity. My boss has to make her first house payment
in Oct. I need to let her know what my decision is before that.


So sorry for the long post! Does anyone think this might be too much to discuss with an MLCer
in one setting???

I will not bring up the D. I will not start any R talk and if he wants to talk, I will listen and validate.
Our meeting is Monday morning. I know weekends are quiet on the boards so hopefully someone
will see this before Monday a.m.!!!!!

Thankyou