Yesterday I went to see my former therapist, I've known her for over twenty years and check in with her once in a while to see if my cheese is still on my cracker I wanted to get some direction as to how to get a handle on the emotional stuff I'm going through. She said that my psyche is doing what it's supposed to right now because I feel weak physically and my psyche is telling me to be careful of things that could be dangerous emotionally. We talked about my anxieties and although I don't give in to them I get damn tired of having to push them aside. She mentioned she knows a therapist who is quite dedicated to CBT and she could set me up with him for six or eight sessions. I tried a bit of CBT last year with a Christian therapist but I don't think we ever got to the CBT part, she was busy looking at my traumatic childhood and after 8 sessions we never got to where I wanted to go. I really think that my mind has got to be re-wired somehow because the fatigue I've been battling has me thinking in some knee jerk negative ways...or to put it correctly I have been thinking in some knee jerk negative ways! It's like driving over the same ground endlessly and the rut in the road just gets deeper. Anyway, I'm seeing her again in a couple of weeks and we'll talk more. I also had a nice surprise yesterday, when I was talking to my old therapist I'd asked her if she was still in contact with the therapist who had initially referred me to her many years ago. She said she hadn't heard from her in years. So, last night when I was FB'ing (Yes romeo, I'm on the alt) on a whim I searched out her name and she popped right up. I emailed her and she emailed me back today. She was one of the first people to help me when I was battling alcohol addiction and I owe her a lot. It was great to be able to connect just to say hi. I haven't seen or spoken to her in over 17 years, she used to work around the corner from where I worked and I'd drop in the odd time to say hi. So, it was nice to be able to say hi again.
I wanted to get some direction as to how to get a handle on the emotional stuff I'm going through. She said that my psyche is doing what it's supposed to right now because I feel weak physically and my psyche is telling me to be careful of things that could be dangerous emotionally. We talked about my anxieties and although I don't give in to them I get damn tired of having to push them aside. She mentioned she knows a therapist who is quite dedicated to CBT and she could set me up with him for six or eight sessions. I tried a bit of CBT last year with a Christian therapist but I don't think we ever got to the CBT part, she was busy looking at my traumatic childhood and after 8 sessions we never got to where I wanted to go. I really think that my mind has got to be re-wired somehow because the fatigue I've been battling has me thinking in some knee jerk negative ways...or to put it correctly I have been thinking in some knee jerk negative ways! It's like driving over the same ground endlessly and the rut in the road just gets deeper. Anyway, I'm seeing her again in a couple of weeks and we'll talk more. 
