I was going to _________________, but then you _______________, so I've decided to divorce you.
This is how they place blame and don't take responsibility for walking away. It is total B.S. You are not the first person to hear that; most of us have heard those words.
Believe none of what they say and only half of what they do.
You will get through this, and you WILL be stronger as a result. Focus on you, GAL, work on changing those things about yourself you know aren't healthy for YOU or a relationship. Let your H spin, and treat him like a friendly acquaintance. Find a way to smile and laugh EVERY day. Set aside time to cry--maybe 10 minutes--and then get up and get busy with something.
Someday you'll look back on all of this and it won't be so horrible, IF you do the work on yourself. There are gifts to be had in every situation if we look for them.
I know it's not easy, and I am in no way diminishing how you feel. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I just know how I made it through sane to the other side. Even though we eventually reconciled, I'd reached a point where I knew I'd be okay either way.
Hang in there, and take each day a few moments or hours at a time. It does get easier.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I just know how I made it through sane to the other side. Even though we eventually reconciled, I'd reached a point where I knew I'd be okay either way. 