I do not have much advice as far as your sitch goes with all the great support you have so far.
I do think not overthinking what your H wants is a good start. Picking up on keys issues such as the finances is a good beginning.
Listening to what is be said or done by him will give some indications of what he is needing, but you cannot mind read. Not much to add other than what has been said to you already.
I do wish you the best always.
Last edited by LSG; 07/13/1008:48 PM.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
Just got off the phone with H. I actually called him even though I debated doing it. He emailed me earlier (briefly) about the budget worksheet I'd sent him and I never responded. I didn't want to call and be pursuing, yet at the same time, I thought maybe I've been making him do all the calling and texting, and I'd make a small guesture. I figured if it seemed he was not receptive I would just make an excuse for calling and get off quick. He seemed glad to hear from me though. He was watching a movie in his hotel room. I turned on the movie too and we talked about it for a bit, pleasantly. I was just getting ready to end the conversation and he did it before me.... darn! BUT...he actually said ILY when we went to hang up! I know too much to put too much stock in that but hey... first timein forever, so I'll take it at the moment!
I just said, "Love you too" nothing spectacular - brief exchange. It wasn't like a big, romantic moment...but felt more like our old selves. A bit of normalcy I guess you'd say.
Picked H up from the airport last night. Things were fine but it's weird: I feel like I have to try to find things to talk to him about. There's no ease in conversation, if that makes sense. Despite the ILY the night before, there was still no affection from H at all - well, except for a little back scratch action that we traded. (He initiated.) It didn't lead to anything - thought I'd throw that in there. This morning it was more of the same from the ride home last night. Pleasant enough, but that's about it. I don't know if any of this means anything...
It almost seems to me that H is acting depressed. You never see him laugh or smile really. Not in every day actions anyway - maybe if he's watching a movie and something's funny. I don't particularly see him smiling or laughing with the kids either, so it isn't just me.
Well - not much I can do about it since he doesn't appear to want to go back to FT. I'm going today and going to discuss the once a month vs. weekly visit with her and will then talk to H about that tonight.
Please start a new thread. This thread is getting a bit too long, so I'm locking it. Shorter threads improve the speed and flow of this online community.
