No one will be disappointed that you backslid. I dare say that most of us do at one time or another. We all know how much this hurts.
What has made you think that your W is MLC vs. WAS? The only reason I ask is that reading from your post it seems like your W is doing a lot of planning. MLCers usually act more confused.
It doesn't really matter what she is unless you're thinking of trying to bust the affair. The advice for that is more confrontational.
