I think exposure backfired?

[AntoniaB]

Here's some things I've been thinking, though, that make me feel like the odds are VERY stacked against me.

1. My H already left last year to "find himself." Now he claims that last year he was feeling emotionally detached from me and falling out of love with me, and that this was a huge part of the whole "finding himself" thing.
2. My H claims now that the OW is not really the issue, that he and I are the issue, and that the romantic part of our rel. ran its course and he doesn't regret any years with me but that he's just not seeing a way to be in love with me again.
3. My H refuses any counseling, individual or marital. He wouldn't even agree to going to a MC with me ONE TIME with the condition being set forth that we were ONLY there to bring closure to the marriage and end it. He wouldn't even do that much.
4. My H insists to family and friends that his head is on straight, he needs no support, and that he is fully in control of his actions. Friends tell me he keeps posting on fbook that he is "happy." (he is not posting anything about me or the OW though).

So I just wonder if the affair is even part of this issue or not based on what he says, and if it's not, and he truly is not in love with me at all, then I feel like all my strategies now won't work to DB. I don't know, I mean my "case" seems so different to me than everyone else's I have read here, because even MWD talks on the infidelity video about how infidelity can be gotten past, but in my case, he doesn't want to get past it and even claims if it weren't there he'd still be gone.

I did get some intel the other day that troubles me too. H told a friend of mine that he "needed the OW to cling to in order to be able to walk away from me for good." Like the walking away from me did come first.