PEI..I guess it may have sounded like a pity party..that's what happens when you don't hear voice inflections. Anyway, I was really trying to boost myself up today after having such a bad day yesterday. Eric keeps telling me I can do it..so I was trying to voice that..believe it by writing it. And yes, there was one tiny little bit of sarcasm about the screwing other women thing..just didn't want you guys to think that I was being a pollyanna and not seeing it for what it was.
I've been told to "fake it til I make it" so that's what I'm trying to do. I am in the process of writing myself a list of things to remember when I'm feeling down, like quitting. Things like "you can do this" "love from a distance" "be his light" "show compassion" "remember that he is really confused right now" -- stuff like that. It will help me to see it in writing and will be like meditating sort of. It will be my mantra..my little song. I can close my eyes and see my list and hopefully not have to go thru another day like yesterday. I was sick all dang day. So, enough of that.
I'll get there eventually. I think I've come a very long way since last Nov.
