Heartbroken and needing help!

[irishblessings]

Thanks Grace / I swear sometimes I get so lost in the emotions I think I'm senile! I have such a hard time finding my way back to my center.

Your point is well made about once he leaves it - it belongs to us.

I feel like my life is now a trashy, dirty remnant of what it once was. My front yard looks homey with flowers and such - the house is warm and cozy - but those of us left behind (me and the kids) are just flattened - covered in s**t. I want to clean us up - and that's part of the reason I need a legal separation. I have to have structures in place for S and I to function and for me to keep us as far away from H's filth as possible.